


The Echo Harbor Book of the Soil

by Orichalxos



Category: The Hidden Almanac (Podcast)
Genre: Gardens & Gardening, Gen, existential unease, seed catalog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 11:00:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16932042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orichalxos/pseuds/Orichalxos
Summary: A selection of entries from this year's seed catalog.





	The Echo Harbor Book of the Soil

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vass/gifts).



_ The following are excerpts from the Echo Harbor Book of the Soil (2019 catalog), all highlighted and circled. It is unclear if they are intended for purchase or for inclusion in the Almanac.  _

 

#452: Elongated Hammerweed

This Coriander Isles ornamental vine takes readily to sandy soil and full sun. Blunt leaves surround small blue flowers. Large rectangular seedpods provide winter interest. It is the only thing that can contain the mint from taking over. It must contain the mint. There is no other hope. Perennial in zones 5-9.

 

#710: Jolly Happy Berry Shrub

3-4’. Bright green leaves year-round are joined in late summer by berries in hot pink, vivid teal, carnival-light orange, and tempting purple. Berries are poisonous. Leaves are poisonous. Bark is poisonous. Ground where it is planted soon becomes poisonous. Rootlets make a spicy, rich tea with elegant and subtle flavor variants. Which are also poisonous. Plant in full sun with adequate fencing.

 

#93: Skives

1’ tall herb used in Echo Harbor delicacies. Basal foliage can develop into summoning rings; regular pruning is necessary. Do not serve on baked potato without holy water at hand. Reseeding annual.

 

#214: Heart-Lies-Mangled

Shade-loving groundcover. Delicate flowers in crimson and beige appear for exactly 83 minutes at midday on the second full moon after midsummer. Sensitive plant; will wilt if criticized or looked at with disdain. Perennial to zone 4.

 

#418: Saint Alban’s Liverwort

18-24”  ornamental shrub. Small clusters of violet flowers emerge in late spring to the sound of bagpipes. Seedheads can be harvested and ground as a substitute for peppercorns, provided the gardener has never tasted peppercorns. This cultivar is especially resistant to hornworms and undead aphids.

 

#976: Variegated purple [redacted]

3-4’ annual. The [redacted] is noted for its indescribability and obscurity. We are assured that this variant is a variegated form with mottled purple leaves. We cannot testify to the truth of this statement, as the [redacted] cannot be perceived by ordinary means. Responds well to clay soil; may require staking if obscurity takes over adjacent plantings.

 

#453: Foreshortened Hammerweed

Variant of #452 developed in the Year of Negotiated Fish. Flowers are larger and bluer; leaves are farther away than they appear. Has reached detente with the mint but is likely to betray the gardener. Perennial in zones 5-9.

 

#82: Tulip, Indomitable Will

Double-petaled frilled pink blooms atop ice-white stems. Perfect for lively spring borders. Reblooms in late December, with ice-white frilled blooms. Second blooms should not be touched without gloves and will effectively repel chipmunks, squirrels, and the weaker forms of daffodil. Bulbs sold with disposable planting tongs and insulated gloves.

 

#445: Negligible Pinks

1-2”. Full to part sun. Tidy leaflets and small flowerets provide dainty contrast. Suitable for planters and window gardens, or any location where they will not be overlooked. Corms should be soaked in cheap champagne or expensive prosecco before planting.

 

#28: Night’s Stain Eggplant

Our premier cultivar. Hardy and disease-resistant eggplants in vivid black. Requires trellis to keep harvested vines from strangling others in jealousy. Do not plant near squash. DO NOT PLANT NEAR SQUASH.  **DO NOT PLANT NEAR SQUASH** . Full sun and frequent watering.


End file.
